so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
