You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
