if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
