Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize