i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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