I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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