NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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