Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
True strength comes from lack of pants
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
