It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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