so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
