It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
