elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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