i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
