Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize