I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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