Cold hands, warm shart.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Randomize
