my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
