I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
