3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
