I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
