Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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