You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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