I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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