SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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