The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
