hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
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