Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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