just tell him i said nine months
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
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and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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