Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize