My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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