Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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