you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
