It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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