He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
