brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
