I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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