need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
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Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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