There was a lot of him and a little penis
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I am one with the molecules
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
