His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
