I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
