Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
