Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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