You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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