I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
The best revenge is premature balding
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize