That's intense
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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