Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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