That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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