So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize