The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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