is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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