pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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