And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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