I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My vagina is very pro this idea
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
