im gay
i know
yea but for you.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
