if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
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