That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
