Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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