ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
