Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have demons in me.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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