I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
