My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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