it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
