Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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