do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
